Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize