We won't sleep together?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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