just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
how do you play pong handcuffed?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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