Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
