i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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