drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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