Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How does it feel to date your dad?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
