Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
high people should be assigned attendants
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I am one with the molecules
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
why is half of my head shaved?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
