i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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