Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
