Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
