I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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