As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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