at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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