respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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