rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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