And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize