the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Alive.
So much puke
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
