butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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