Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize