I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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