Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
