She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
