capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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