Ambien. No doubt about it.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
