did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
