he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Randomize
