She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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