need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
