Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
