I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
