"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
