As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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