so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
