You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
