this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
