The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
