Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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