I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
