you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
