Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
