It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
