I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
