i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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