There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You are the jesus of drinking
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
