why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
