I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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