dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
