please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
