do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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