they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
