id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
