I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize