he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
