Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
