I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize