I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize