i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
