If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
