Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I looked at my own cervix.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
