Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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